Actions Speak Louder Than....Words?

This past week has been exceptionally trying for me. I have been quite self-obsessed for the past couple of months, feeling a stirring to do something, to move, and completely unable to figure out how. While I am still struggling, I cannot help but take a moment and process the events, actions, and words with which I have been bombarded lately. So enjoy the stylish rantings of me being forced out from under my self-imposed rock.

*********************************************************************************
With good old Dan Cathy choosing to weigh in on the same-sex marriage debate, it seemed a lot of vitriol began to seep onto my Facebook news feed. For me to really finish processing stuff like this, I must put pen to paper, (well, fingertips to keyboard). So, this is your warning to close your browser as you may not like what I have to say.

As Christians, we are called to live an intentional life, where our words and our actions point toward the kingdom of God. When we make blanket statements, as Mr. Cathy did, we may speak truth, but we do it in a way that marginalizes and vilifies our neighbors. There is a reason, I believe, that after Pentecost, we don't see a great deal of "stump speeches" in the New Testament. The greatest example of how we approach the world is through Jesus himself. He was in the mix, sitting at the table with all kinds of people, sharing a meal, swapping stories, building relationships.

THAT is the key to ministering to a lost and dying world: RELATIONSHIPS. Every time we go out and "stand up for what we believe in" by grandstanding and posturing, we take two steps back as a collective. So, in my humble opinion, Mr. Cathy did nothing more than use his position and "authority" to make a mess and bring attention to himself. In the end, all he did was cut us off from more people that need Christ's love, mercy, and healing. And, after a little research, I'm a little disappointed in his corporation in their choices for charitable giving. Instead of paying to "pray away the gay," how about you go feed some poor kids or build a homeless shelter?

**********************************************************************************
I will never understand the word "senseless." Sometimes it is used to mean stupid or even unconscious, but in reference to the shootings in Colorado, it's definition is "meaningless." As far as I am concerned, there was only one death that ever had meaning and it involved a couple pieces of wood, three nails, and Love in human form.

Even though we use this word, "senseless," it seems all we do is feebly attempt to create meaning for heart-shattering events like Colorado. This inevitably lands in some sort of political discussion and this event, in particular, puts us squarely on the 2nd Amendment without passing go. Honestly, I'm slightly "left of center" on this one. I have no issue with gun ownership, but assault rifles? Really? Is there a valid argument for them?

I am not a hunter, fisherman, type of guy. Granted, I know enough and have done it enough that, in the event of the apocalypse, I can catch my own food and take aim at the zombie's head, but outside of this, it just holds no interest for me. Most of my brothers, and many friends, are passionate about it and I would never begrudge them that. For many, it is a healing, even spiritual experience to commune with nature and enjoy the peace and tip-toe pace of the outdoors. By all means, go hunt Bambi, but who needs an assault rifle or machine gun to do that? And if you really go old school and use a bow and arrow, you score a great deal more cool points with me.

The dialogue in which we find ourselves now is not something I shy away from and, for the most part, really enjoy. I always want to hear what other people think and why, (notice I included "why," give me some foundation for your argument people!), but what I cannot handle is when people run out and make these big baseless statements that just make Christians look like aliens from another planet. Take the crazy senator guy who ran out to a podium and cried out that we got what we deserved because we took God out of schools, (1. you're a fool if you think you or anyone else has the power to take God out of anywhere, except your heart 2. Really? Are we still whining about that? Build a bridge people, and the moment we have to start meeting in cramped, unventilated basements with only one 40 watt light bulb and whisper our worship for fear of being detached from our heads, I will gladly cry out persecution with you, until then, all you will get from me is constant sighing and eye-rolling)  ***And yes, I just broke my own record for the longest parenthetical phrase I've ever written.

What really gets me is when I get on Facebook and see other Christians posting ridiculous pictures and statements in regards to guns, gays, or whatever the trendy topic is. The point is, none of these things can be boiled down to a simple phrase, picture, or statement by a bigwig CEO. These simplistic phrases wound people and do nothing to advance the kingdom. What you're doing is: 1. Reducing a major issue with bad humor, 2. Creating yet another hackneyed statement, 3. Pushing an agenda you have no business pushing in such a way.

And I will just put this fact out there: In states where there are more gun owners, there are also substantially higher numbers of assaults and suicides. Process that information however you like, but it's the truth.

There's a great song that we did last night called "When it's All Been Said and Done," that really sums up what I am trying to say here. There's this line that asks, "did I do my best to live for truth." Notice, it doesn't say "speak the truth" or "tell the truth," it implies actions beyond words. Our "acts" are what define us. Will they define us as humble servants or as polarizing mouthpieces?

I will always have more questions than answers, and the majority will typically disagree with me on things like this. Even in this season of being the man with a compass and no map, I find peace in knowing my direction though I don't know the path. This direction, or foreknowledge of where my journey ends, is informing the choices I make today. All I know is God is Love, God dwells in me, therefore I love beyond my own capacity. Love tells me to sacrifice, to be the least, to get off the stump.

We are........family?

Family. There isn’t any great definition for it. There are a number of organizations around that claim non-profit status, take your money under the guise of fighting for the “traditional” family, when really all they do is promote bigotry and self-righteousness, (just so you know, I pretty much despise the word “traditional” as much as I hate the word “doctrinal” as neither of them rarely move us forward).

Not too long ago, a group of friends and I slowly came to the realization that we are living in community. We are involved in each other’s lives and invested in one another. These are the people that I consider my family.  This motley crew is comprised of many family units who are in varying places on their journey and, on the surface, don’t seem to have a great deal in common. So, why does this group work? We share a hunger for something more, something greater than ourselves.

I’m sure you were all thinking that I was going to say God. And on one level, that is true, but it over-simplifies. I worship with a church of roughly a thousand people and God is my common denominator with them. Sadly, it is also as far as most of those relationships will ever go because most church-goers still live in the American ideal of church and not in the intended close-knit, interdependent family of believers that the church is supposed to be.

Unfortunately, the American standard of Christianity has been boiled down to a few simple ingredients that don’t come anywhere near what God wanted for his children. An unintended consequence of this and the American lifestyle that has been allowed to infect the church is isolationism. In this age of inter-connectedness, we have become so distant from each other. I will be the first to admit that I don’t know a single one of my neighbors. There’s apparently an older gentleman that lives next door to me on whom I have never laid eyes. I came home last night to find a family moving in to the house on the other side of me that I didn’t even realize was empty, (their midnight move-in does have me hoping that maybe they’re in witness protection or something).

This isolationism has left us indistinguishable from the society in which we live. We operate with this attitude of, “it’s my business,” or “that’s my kid,” or “it’s my life.” It isn’t that there isn’t any truth in those statements, but when you live in community, the “traditional” family ideal is obliterated and you come to understand that no one spouse or set of kids can provide everything for each other. Yes, parents, I’m talking to you. No, you cannot provide everything your child needs to become who they are. You need other parents, mentors, even other children. In short, you need to expand your idea of family.

I should also state that we don’t live in a commune. Not that I am against it. I am all for communal living provided there is no kool-aid or stock-piling of weapons. I would love nothing more than my friends and I to buy out a cul de sac, but proximity is not a prerequisite for community and in no way ensures or improves the likelihood of success.

This concept of community has really hit us hard lately as we’ve been dealing with a lot of hurt and grief and learning how to love and support each other as new paths are chosen and some relationships change or even end. The beauty of our current situation is the openness of my friend’s hearts, homes, and resources as we each grow through these tough times. What it has really done is solidify our commitment to each other. It is a thing of wonder to look at my friend’s children and know that I will be alongside them as they laugh, cry, hurt. I will be there as they grow.

I encourage all of you to seek out those that can be intimately involved in your life. I pray that God will lead you to people that you can trust to be your partners on this crazy, exhausting journey. The greater question is: are you willing to be a part? Living in community is not easy. It requires commitment, engagement and an enormous amount of grace. Quite often, it is about serving the needs of those in your family that, in truth, you’d rather not be bothered with. At those times, will you get in there and be a part of the fight, the struggle, the ugliness, or will you say, “I’m staying out of that drama.”

The whole purpose God wants us to realize by living in community is that it is a model, a training ground, for how we serve the world. If we cannot learn to be interdependent and give all we have to each other, how then, can we be truly prepared to change the world?